


Ageless And Lost

by AmazingDandroid (Stardust_Ti)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Actor!Phil, Ageless!Dan, Angst, Animation, Animator!Dan, Au where Dan doesn't know his own age, Coffee Shop, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Getting Together, GraphicDesigner!Dan, M/M, Slow Build, Theatre
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-24 01:32:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13202856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stardust_Ti/pseuds/AmazingDandroid
Summary: AU Where Dan doesn't know his age and is resentful about it and is struggling with his identity.That is until he meets Phil one day, who then gradually worms his way into Dan's life whether he wants it or not and lights up his life just like the ray of sunshine Phil is.Dan's journey of understanding and accepting himself.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I got this idea and started writing.
> 
> Thank you for clicking on it. :D
> 
> I'll hopefully update regularly.
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a fictional work and I am in no way implying that this is an accurate depiction of Dan and Phil's relationship or their lives.  
> I also do not own any of the characters in the story.
> 
> I hope someone enjoys this. Let me know if you do!  
> ×××.

Dan looked out the window of his apartment, over the expanse of London...

Birds, trees, buildings, people, all with their place in the city, belonging, existing seemingly, looked back at him.

He looked over to a nearby building, there was a restaurant, where a crowd was gathered, and balloons.

He sighed, and moved away from the window.

He decided on making himself a sandwich and went to the TV and watched some anime to distract himself...

×××

Dan had never had a birthday.

Never a celebration of one anyway...

Simply because he never knew when it was.

He didn't really know his exact age either...

He just knew he was around 22... -ish. Just from the year that his parents told him he was born.

Some of you may wonder:

How in the world did it happen that there is no known record of Dan's Birthday?

Well, for one, his parents never made a note of it. And he definitely never forgave them for that.

They were too caught up in their own business to have thought to do it...

And when the computer systems of the hospital crashed some weeks later, and a fire accident devastated the documents room... The data was lost.

Since most of the families of the babies born at that time had written the dates and times of the births down, they were able to re-file for Birth Certificates.

Others could rely on the remains of documents saved from the fire.

Dan's documents however, were completely lost.

There was a week where the hospital had a recovery meeting, where the staff and the families attempted to track the dates based on what they all knew, and it was largely successful.

Dan's family never attended this meeting.

They had business that weekend and didn't think to check the news... Dan, of course, never forgave them for that either.

It was months later when they finally figured out that their little baby Daniel had lost his Birthday.

Dan's family had no idea what to do about it...

All he had from that moment was a name and a bunch of guestimations that were hardly good enough.

And so the times went by.

As Dan grew older, he became more resentful about the fact.

As a child he always felt left out.

Others got their birthdays, a day for just them, a day to celebrate their existence.

Dan started to wonder whether his existence would ever be celebrated in any way...

As a teen he began to question his own existence... As most teens do.

He proceeded to have his first 'Existential Crisis'... A term he grew very familiar with.

He started to experiment as all teens do.

He sort of figured out his sexuality along the way.

He was pretty sure he was bisexual, though he was extremely cagey about it...

Ashamed really.

He had enough issues with identity already, he didn't need this to make it worse.

Early experiences he had a lot of this ashamedness, they were never the best memories... A lot of them went repressed.

People were cruel...

As he grew into adulthood, he rarely smiled.

He decided to get into Graphic Design and animation, that was his calling at the moment, and he enjoyed it.

×××

He lay on the couch and watched his anime for a while before finally getting up and going to his computer.

He started working on an animation project he was busy with and tapped on the table.

He was on deadline.

But he was certain he had plenty of time.

He edited his workings into the late hours of the night...

Eventually finally retiring to his room, ignoring the little sounds he could hear in his little apartment.

There were times Dan swore there was someone else in the house... Or some _thing_ else.

He pushed the thoughts away as he knew he'd just work himself into a panic about it.

He was afraid of the power of his own mind when he was alone some days.

He closed his eyes...

Eventually drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading.
> 
> Please lemme know what you thought.
> 
> Have a great day/night!
> 
> Leave a comment on your way out.  
> All feedback is greatly appreciated.
> 
> Thanks!  
> ×××


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter.
> 
> A bit more relevant to the plot.
> 
> 10 points if you have an idea of what some of the visuals were inspired by.
> 
> ×××
> 
> Here we go!

The next day Dan opened his eyes and blinked slowly.  
He eyed his room, his curtains, pitch black, but ever so slightly transparent... As much as he tried to keep the light out, it was clearly daytime, a little slither of light was bound to find its way in, even when it was heavily masked by black fabric.

He reached for his phone on the table next to his bed blindly...  
Then swiftly knocked it off and onto the ground.

He groaned and grumbled something under his breath, staring at the phone on the floor and wondered whether picking it up would be worth it.

He glared at it for a good 2 minutes before finally dangling his top half out of the bed to retrieve it.

He unlocked it and saw a text.

PJ: "Hey, Man! You wanna grab some coffee later? I got a sick idea for my assignment I wanna run by you."

And then another came in.

PJ: "It'll do you some good to get out of your little 'Secret Cave' for a while."

Dan sighed and texted back, agreeing to meet with PJ.

He threw the covers off of himself, basically throwing himself out of the bed.  
He threw his clothes off and stepped into the shower, warm drops of water cascading off his form, relaxing him.  
He generally had to force himself to be quick in the shower or he knew he'd probably just stay there indefinitely.  
Until his skin would shrivel and protest.  
Until the water would run cold.  
Until the pleasure turned to discomfort.

He washed quickly and got out, toweling his hair dry.  
He glanced at himself in the mirror, seeing his unruly curls dangle above his face.  
He quickly walked through to his room and dressed.  
All black.  
Then spent the next while straightening his hair.

Eventually, when he was satisfied, he head out the door and made the long walk down the stairs to meet with his friend.

\----------

"Hey, Dan, over here!" PJ called out from a coffee table nearby.

Dan walked over to the table and greeted his friend. 

They sat down across from each other, just then the waitress came to take their orders.  
Dan ordered a plain coffee, PJ ordered a green tea.

"How have you been?" PJ said looking over at Dan who was looking down at a little scratch on the tabletop.

"M'fine, what is this project you wanted to show me?" Dan looked up then, making direct eye contact with PJ.

"Oh! You're gonna love this!" PJ turned to his left to get a file out of his bag.  
Dan took this moment to look around the coffee shop.

The barista was a tall, dark-skinned man with dread locks and a sort of hipster swag going on.  
This café was just generally nice. Good lighting, natural sunlight pouring in from the windows and giving the place a yellow glow, comfortable seats, good coffee (the most important feature) and snazzy decorations.

Dan looked over to the bar, a blonde woman was ordering coffee and flirting with the barista, he averted his eyes.

As he looked over PJ's shoulder, a man caught his eye.  
He had ebony hair swept to one side in a fringe and striking blue eyes.  
He was wearing a blue checked button-up shirt that seemed to emphasize the blue in his eyes.  
The man smirked slightly looking at Dan.

Just then PJ seemed to find what he was looking for and brought Dan's attention back to the table.

"Here it is, right? It's basically a colour-splotion extravaganza space adventure... Like, a real explorer number. I'm thinking of animating it. Do you think it's any good? Uh... Dan?"

"Dan..."

Dan had spaced out.

"Hmm? Oh! Uh, sorry.... What were you saying?"

"You seem a little distant, Mate, what's up?" PJ looked concerned.

"Oh, nothing, just spaced out, I'm sorry. Please tell me again, you have my undivided attention now." Dan looked to the file.

They went through PJ's file and talked.  
It was actually a great idea, Dan had to admit, it astounded him how much creativity PJ had sometimes...  
They had their coffee and talked about the new Crash Bandicoot game for a good 10-15 minutes.

It was good for Dan.  
If it weren't for PJ, he'd probably never leave the house. He was secretly extremely grateful, though he'd never admit it. 

PJ's phone started ringing suddenly.  
He got up to answer it, walking a few steps to answer it away from the table...

As he got up, Dan looked around the room for a second, looking left and right.  
The man from the table earlier was nowhere in sight.

(Not that he was looking for him.)

Then someone just happened to brush his shoulder, he looked back, just missing the person.  
Then he looked forward, and there was the man.

"Oh, sorry! I was just passing by. I didn't mean to hit you." The man rambled, looking at Dan concerned. 

"No, no, it's fine, you hardly touched me." Dan said looking at the man.

"Uh, I'm Phil." The man said, holding out his hand.

Dan shook his hand cautiously, looking at him somewhat suspiciously.

"Uh... Do you mind if I...?" Phil trailed off, gesturing to the seat opposite him.

"Uh... sure. My friend will probably be back soon though." 

Phil sat down and smiled at Dan suddenly. It was more of a smirk if Dan was honest. Suddenly he had a lot of questions of whether Phil bumping into him was a mistake or not.

"Do you come here often?" Phil said, his smile turning a bit more sweet.

"Ahem." Dan cleared his throat.  
"Yeah, my friend drags me here quite often."

"Ah, cool, I just come here for fun, I like the atmosphere here."

There was a short silence.

"Do your friends have to drag you often?"

"What?"

"Like..." Phil paused, as if searching for the right words.

"I just figured that you don't seem to be..... very..... outgoing...?"  
Phil looked at him wearily.

"Nah, I guess not... I usually don't leave the house much. "

Phil nodded and looked at Dan fondly.

Dan cleared his throat again, looking back at Phil for all but 2 seconds before breaking eye contact again.

He then looked at PJ, who looked to be wrapping up his call.

"Do you wanna, you know, talk? Sometime? Like, we can chat sometime if you want? If you give me your number?" Phil said suddenly.

Dan looked back towards Phil, eyes wide.

"Uh... No offense, but I hardly know you." Dan looked at Phil's phone which he had been holding out as an offering.

Phil retracted his hand.

"Are you worried that I'm some sort of serial killer or something?" Phil said, looking at Dan, half smiling.

"Well... Now that you mention it..." Dan trailed off sarcastically.

Phil laughed.  
Dan drew back at that, he wasn't expecting such a reaction.  
He was used to being sassed back.  
Or being told to f*** off.  
Or being punched.

"Alright then. Maybe by chance I'll see you some other time." Phil said, getting up, winking at Dan.

Dan stayed quiet, staring at him as he got up, not sure how to respond to that.

"Could I at least have your name?" Phil said, hopeful.

"Uh, it's Dan." Dan coughed and looked away from Phil and down to the crack in the table again.

"Have a nice day, Dan." Phil smiled.  
And with that he walked out of the shop.

Dan waved awkwardly as Phil left the coffee store. Contemplating on who Phil was and why he in the world he wanted Dan's number.

Just then PJ returned.

"Sorry about that, Mate, someone from the agency." PJ waved his phone in the air for emphasis.

"It's cool."

"Oh, who was that by the way?" PJ asked, looking at Dan questioningly.

"Some random guy."

"What's his name?"

"Phil."

"Why was he sitting here?"

"Not sure."

"He just came to talk to you?"

"Yeah."

PJ just looked at Dan for a moment.

"Do you think he fancies you?"

Dan looked up at PJ wide eyed.  
"No! Geez, Peej, where did that come from?!"

Dan looked at PJ like he was crazy then looked away.

"You totally fancy him, don't you?" PJ looked directly at Dan, looking smug.

"What? No! Why?"

"Why are you getting defensive then?"

"I'm not getting defensive!" Dan squeaked, his voice suddenly going a little higher.

PJ smiled slightly and looked away.

"It's about time."

"What did you say?"

"Oh, nothing..." PJ kept smiling.

Dan looked at him suspiciously for a second but said nothing.

They continued their previous conversation...  
Dan wasn't concentrating very well thereafter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter. I hope it's good.
> 
> I'm really building this story slowly, but hopefully the end game is worth it.

Later that day, Dan was sat at his computer, scrolling aimlessly through Pinterest.   
He sighed and opened up his editing program.

He watched his animation back three or so times before deciding to cut the one scene into sections and make it flash among the others.  
Adds impact, he thought. 

 

He needed to get this video done before he could sleep. He needed to present it at a gathering at the Solar Show stage the next day, they had a competition for the members of the key animation groups in London.

His group included himself, PJ and a girl named Sophie as their chief animators, each with their own style and projects but frequent collaborators.

 

Dan worked on his project well into the night.  
Eventually he saved and prepared the files before turning his computer off and going to bed, not even bothering to eat dinner.

As he lay in bed he looked up to his ceiling.  
There were these little glow-in-the-dark stars scattered all over his roof.  
He had put them up there originally because he and PJ had gotten very into space at one point and he had thought that it looked cool, kinda making his room look like a galaxy at night...  
But nowadays, since he was left alone with his thoughts at night, he thought it more childish.

Dan sighed and turned on his side and tried to fall asleep.

Eventually he did, but had a very restless night.

\----------

"Hey! Danny boyyyy! Come over here! I wanna punch ya!"

The boys made their way towards Dan.  
He backed away quickly, finding his back against the wall.  
He had no where to go.  
He seized up and prepared himself.

\----------

Dan jolted awake, seeing the stars on his roof and coming back to reality.

He rested his arm over his eyes and groaned.  
He checked the time, he needed to get ready to go to the Show stage, PJ would be here soon.

He threw the blankets off himself and stood up and stretched his arms.

He looked around his room, and down at himself, suddenly feeling a little exposed being shirtless, despite being alone.

He threw a towel over his shoulder and made his way to the shower, sighing softly.

\----------

The car ride to the show stage was relatively quiet, PJ did most of the talking.  
Dan just watched the world go by outside his window while he leaned on his arm.

"Are you alright today, Dan?" PJ said after a while. Dan had barely spoken a word the entire car ride.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Dan shifted in his seat.

PJ didn't press him, but wasn't very convinced.

\----------  
\----------

Phil woke up to rays of bright sunlight that morning, his curtains were a sort of warm cream colour.   
He sat up and stretched, then made his way to the curtains and opened them.  
He looked out the opened the window and took in the outside air.  
He smiled. He was excited for today.

 

He had a rehearsal for his play today. He had to wax metaphorical and talk like a romantic.  
He loved creative language, especially in English.

 

He had his coffee and texted his friend.

*Hey, Chris, I'm leaving around now, hopefully will be there early, tell Jack and Mark to get warmed up.

**Sure thing, see you there. :)

 

Phil got to the Show stage early as planned and threw his bag down.  
"Hey!" Chris walked towards him.  
"You excited for today?" He asked.

"Yeah! I'm super zazzed." Phil said and smiled wide.

"Apparently there is going to be another gathering here today so we have to stay to the left side of the stage unfortunately." Chris said gesturing towards the stage.

"Okay, I'm sure we can manage that." Phil said smiling.

They practiced their scenes for a while, the director seemed happy.

Phil said his lines with conviction. Trying his absolute best to project his voice effectively.

He walked off to the side of the stage after his part and some others walked into the scene.

Phil took a moment to rest and looked around the audience area, some people were entering the hall at the back.

He saw a girl with wavy, mid-length, brown hair, a man with unruly curly hair and round glasses.

And then he saw Dan.

He was so concentrated on watching Dan that he missed his cue for the next scene.

He then got a good 5 minute lecture from the director.

Afterwards, he did his scene and the director called for a 15 minute break.

Perfect, he thought. 

He jumped down from the stage and reached into his bag and grabbed a water bottle.

He took long sips and gazed towards Dan, he and the two others were sitting in the third row to the middle of the stage.  
He seemed distracted.

\----------

"Thank you all for your time, we will let you know what is chosen after the judging." A woman from the animations competition said with a smile.

"Great!" PJ turned to Dan and Sophie.

"Cool, so, now that's done, what do you guys want to do now?" He said.

Sophie had already started walking to the middle of the stage and sat down somewhere in the third row, ushering them over.

Dan looked up to the stage and a strange feeling settled in his stomach.

The man from the coffee store, Phil, was up on the stage and was acting out a scene.

He was pulled along by PJ before he could think to protest and they sat down in the seats next to Sophie.

He watched as Phil flaunted his voice and arms.   
He felt quite entranced for a moment.

 

After the scene finished, the director called for a break.

He watched as Phil jumped down from the stage and drank from his water bottle.  
He then looked up, directly towards Dan.

Dan felt like all the blood left his head at once, he felt pale.

Would Phil recognize him? He drew in on himself as he saw Phil approach them.

"Hey, guys! What brings you all here today?" Phil said and smiled as he got to where the group was sitting and leaned against a chair casually.

"Oh, we're here for the animation and graphic design comp, we're all entering." PJ said.

Phil looked around at them, Dan was looking at his lap.

 

"What about you, Mate?" PJ said.

Phil looked back towards PJ and smiled.  
"I'm acting in a stage production at the moment, I just got a few minutes break so I thought I'd come talk to you guys."

"Oh, awesome, man! That's very good. I'd like to come see you guys when it shows." PJ smiled.

"Thank you, I'll tell the others that, they could use some encouragement I think." Phil smiled.

"Oh, I'm PJ by the way, and this is Sophie..." "and Dan." PJ said, gesturing to each of them in turn.

"It's nice to meet you all, I'm Phil." Phil smiled. Again looking over at Dan.

Dan was still looking down, other than a slight, half-hearted nod, as if to say "Hello." as the others greeted him.

Phil smiled and stretched his arms up above him.

Dan was dead silent.  
He was grateful when Sophie said something about getting something to drink and started to get up.  
Dan volunteered to go with her and they both got up and left the hall, PJ calling after them saying that he'll catch up.

As soon as he was out the hall and in the entrance area, Dan let out a breath he didn't even realize he'd been holding.

"Are you alright, Dan? You seem very quiet today." Sophie said, looking at Dan concerned.

"No, I'm fine. Just... tired I guess." Dan said. Hoping she'd drop it.

"Okay..." Sophie nodded, still searching Dan's face, but eventually moving on as they headed out to get drinks.

\----------  
\----------

Later that night, PJ, Sophie and Dan were in PJ's apartment, having a few drinks, eating chips, maybe playing an odd card game and just generally talking nonsense.

Dan enjoyed this time with his friends, he acted like he didn't want to spend time with them, but really, it was the best time for him.

PJ checked his phone, for what seemed like the millionth time that night and Sophie groaned.

"Oh my gosh, Peej, Who are you talking to? You've been on your phone all night for goodness sake!"

"Just a new friend I made, he seems really cool." PJ said and put his phone down.

"Okay, your turn, Soph." He said, looking at his cards.

Sophie took her turn and PJ's phone beeped again.

He looked at the texted and grinned.  
He replied quickly and put his phone down.

 

In the end, Sophie won the game and they were just sat/laying on the couch/floor doing, well... not much.

PJ offered to make coffee and got up to go to the kitchen.

Dan lay there on the couch, looking at the ceiling.  
He breathed deeply and closed his eyes gently.

Just then he heard his own phone angrily beep at him.

He sighed and opened his eyes, eyeing the phone sitting on the coffee table as if it was a spider.

He reached over and grabbed his phone, opening the new text message from an 'unknown number'? He frowned.

"Hi, this is Phil, from the coffee shop...-"

Dan started and dropped his phone on his face, cursing silently.  
He picked it up quickly.

"Hi, this is Phil, from the coffee shop... And the stage play... I saw you earlier today with two friends?  
I know this is a bit strange but, would you like to have coffee tomorrow? Or tea? Or whatever you want at the coffee shop tomorrow? Please! I'd really just like to talk to you, get to know you, you know?   
Sorry for rambling, I'll stop now.  
Uh... Yeah, cool, bye."

Dan sat there speechless for a few seconds, before typing a reply, frowning to himself.

"How did you get my Number, Phil?"

He waited for a reply, hearing his phone beep again.

"PJ."

Dan looked up from his phone irritatedly and called out.

"PJ!" 

"Yeah??" PJ called back, still in the kitchen.

"Why did you give my phone number to Phil?!"

"Because he asked for it!"

"Why didn't you ask me first?!"

"If I asked you, would you have agreed?"

"NO!"

"That's why!"

Dan groaned and hid his face in his hands.

PJ walked in with 3 mugs of coffee and set them down on the coffee table.  
Dan looked up and gave him a death glare.

PJ just shook his head smiling slightly and sat down.  
"What did he say?" He asked, looking at Dan.

Dan just gave PJ the phone and went back to hiding his face.

PJ smiled and looked back towards Dan.  
"So? Are you gonna go?"  
Dan groaned.  
"Why do you keep forcing me to do these things?!" He whined.

"Because if I don't, you'll never leave your cave of an apartment and never see humanity again! And that's not very good for you, Mate, I'm trying to be a good friend here!" PJ laughed.

Just then, Dan's phone beeped again.

PJ gave his phone back and he read the message.

*"Just a casual, coffee, no pressure, I understand if you say no."

That made Dan feel a little guilty.

He sighed deeply and replied, agreeing to go.

Phil sent back multiple emojis.  
:D :) :) :) :D

Dan locked his phone and put it down on the table.

He took a sip of his coffee and looked up.

PJ and Sophie were staring at him.

"What?" He asked frowning.

"Oh, nothing." They both said and looked away, smiling slightly.

Dan rolled his eyes and finished his coffee.

\----------

Later that night as Dan stared at his ceiling in bed, he breathed deeply and closed his eyes.  
He felt calm, almost tranquil.

He slept peacefully that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> Please leave a comment on your way out if you have any thoughts.  
> All feedback is appreciated!
> 
> P.S. DON'T give your friend's numbers to anyone without their permission! Even if it's Phil Lester! Don't do it!
> 
> Cool.  
> Have a great day! xxx

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading.
> 
> Please lemme know what you thought.
> 
> Have a great day/night!
> 
> Leave a comment on your way out.  
> All feedback is greatly appreciated.
> 
> Thanks!  
> ×××


End file.
